Frank Zappa, Prince, John Denver, and all the Knights In Satans Service.

My first introduction to Liberalism was sometime in the mid to late 80's. I was a little skate punk then and my father actually had taken me to my first concert- The Dead Milkmen. It was an afternoon all ages show at the legendary South Street punk club, JC Dobbs. I was lucky to grow up with open minded parents. They understood that they were my parents, they set the rules, they accepted their parenting responsibility for me, and trusted that they decided what was best for me.

One day my mom had come home from work with a peculiar pamphlet in her hands. It was from a group called the P.M.R.C. It stood for the Parents Music Resource Center. It was headed up by an angry busy body named Tipper Gore, wife of Global Warming Profiteer Al Gore. In that pamphlet contained a bit of trivia that I never knew. It claimed that behind the seemingly innocent band of good time comic book rock and rollers KISS, was a bunch of heathens trying to turn children into Satan worshiping consumers. Tip's newsletter uncovered that KISS actually stood for Knights In Satan's Service. It claimed that the time is NOW to save our children from the filth put out by greedy record label exec's. Holy Shit! Kiss must really be cool! Taking off the devil make up must've been a ruse to throw off parents who have been catching on.

Where did this crusade of protecting us from things that THEY deem offensive come from? Well, one day Mrs. Gore happened to overhear her daughter listening to a Prince song. She was shocked at the filth! She decided that it wasn't enough to parent her own child, she needed to do the parenting for you too. After all, that's what liberals in Government do, right? To pass legislation to protect us from us. Ever since i saw Mary Poppins, I've always wanted a nanny......

So Tip was kind enough to do the parenting for my parents. That was nice of her, because my folks were very busy. Tip and her pal's made a list of the worst of the worst for not only my folks, but yours too. PARENTAL ADVISORY: Here are Tip's "Filthy Fifteen"

1.	Prince	Darling Nikki	Sex / Masturbation
2.	Sheena Easton	Sugar Walls	Sex
3.	Judas Priest	Eat Me Alive	Sex
4.	Vanity	Strap On Robbie Baby	Sex
5.	Motley Crue	Bastard	Violence
6.	Ac/Dc	Let Me Put My Love Into You	Sex
7.	Twisted Sister	We're Not Gonna Take It	Violence
8.	Madonna	Dress You Up	Sex
9.	W.A.S.P.	Animal (Fuck Like A Beast)	Sex
10.	Def Leppard	High N' Dry	Drug And Alcohol Use
11.	Mercyful Fate	Into The Coven	Occult
12.	Black Sabbath	Trashed	Drug And Alcohol Use
13.	The Mary Jane Girls	In My House	Sex
14.	Venom	Possessed	Occult
15.	Cyndi Lauper

Among warning labels on records, keeping naughty records under the counter, they also insisted that Record Labels Reassess the contracts of performers who engage in violence and explicit sexual behavior onstage. Of course no good liberal can settle for regulations and censorship alone, they need to help RUN the actual Record Label!

Anyway, to make a long story short: Artists came to testify before a Senate Committee . Artists opposed to Government censorship including Frank Zappa, Dee Sninder, and John Denver took the stand to defend the Artist's and Record Companies rights. That's right. John Denver.

Well in the end the Record Companies voluntarily placed warning labels on the records. We all know what happened next. The same thing that always happens under Government Regulation, unintended consequences. Kids now knew which album to buy. Which one's had the cool lyrics. Personally I got turned on to rap music through all the amazing F-bombs of Ice-T and NWA. The Dead Kennedy's, Meatmen, Black Flag, or Minor Threat couldn't hold a candle to the new Easy E cassette. I wanted the bad shit. A parental advisory sticker was useful for a kid much in the same way two thumbs up were for movie fans.

And so that was my first introduction into Liberalism. Self importance, censorship, Government intrusion, over regulation, disdain for free markets, and unintended consequences.

Check out all of the filthy 15 videos and songs on THIS site.
Watch Dee Snider embarrass the Gores HERE

Am I Black Enough For You?

Yuppie/Milquetoast comedienne Janine Garaofalo tries pretty hard to keep up with the trends. Recently the trend among upcoming comediennes is to add a little edge to their routine. One of the first things the co star of the film Cat's and Dogs did was to get a bunch of tatoos all at once. But brand new tattos at her age wasn't quite edgy enough. It's pretty common among most soccer moms and cougars hunting young studs at Applebees happy hour.

So I applaud her for trying her hand at good old fashion racism. Here is a transcript of Garofalo in an exchange with the famous Boston Market pitch man Keith Olberman discussing African American GOP leader Michael Steel attempting her new racist persona:

JANEANE GAROFALO: She dated him, so either she suffers from Stockholm Syndrome – a lot like Michael Steele, who’s the black guy in the Republican party who suffers from Stockholm Syndrome, which means you try and curry favor with the oppressor.

KEITH OLBERMANN: Yes, you talk about self-loathing.

GAROFALO: Yeah, and there’s, any female or person of color in the Republican party is struggling with Stockholm Syndrome.

Wealthy white liberals that come from priviledged backgrounds are so good at stereotyping folks!

White Liberals are also good at determining who is a "real black". Clarence Thomas, Michael Steele, etc - they're not real blacks. Why? Because they don't fit into people like Janine's stereotype of what blacks should be. To someone who is not a typical white liberal it might sound insanely demeaning to take away the accomplishments of a successful black person by insinuating that they have somehow sold out or got their position by turning their back on their heritige. A normal person or non elite liberal may suggest they have gotten to where they are because of their hard work and intellect. Liberals like Janine and Keith know that not selling out requires that one perpetuate a stereotype imposed upon blacks by whites in the first place. That is the old stereotype that blacks are perpetual victims not capable of succeding without the assistance of noble white people or goverment.

So my advice to Janine is you're getting there, but you still sound a tad typical.

May I suggest a role in another awesome PG-13 controversy generating film like Reality Bites?